WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP IT'S BEEN.. (and that's just me...)

It's said that "Time flies," but here on Roatan, it kind of hops. Allow me to explain.

Not too long ago, the island was filled with dirt roads, where one had to learn the location of every pothole and sinkhole, or risk damaging their teeth by hitting them. Locals were well-versed in navigating these roads, while crazy drivers would often swerve at the last minute, leaving others to brake or collide with them. Due to the Caribbean downpours and long dry seasons, there were either deep mud holes or dust everywhere.

Taxis seemed to have a special Saint watching over them, as they would do a full-speed stop in the middle of a curve while going down a hill, then throw open their doors to pick up passengers. Entire families would use rebuilt motorcycles left by their cousins to carry everything from propane tanks to lumber. Pickups would remind one to take care of their friends, as they'd be loaded with a dozen free-riding workers in the bed, dragging the tail.

Old semis with flopping hoods and fenders would also bomb their way around, belching black exhaust in search of a destination. Resort tourist busses would routinely fly by, filled with waving newcomers to the rock. Once, a mayor was asked, "What are the qualifications to get a license?" His response was, "If they can fog a mirror, they pass..." Many people on Roatan still travel by horseback to areas that can't be accessed during the seasonal washouts. Mudhole (aptly named) and Crawfish Rock come to mind.

While not as common today, enterprising men with shovels would put on a show, filling potholes with dirt, hoping for a tip in return. If you took enough trips, you'd realize that they were standing around the same hole they filled that morning. The really good ones would take out the dirt to refill their hole.

Police checkpoints would pop up every few miles, stopping drivers who might not have their license, have beer cans in their car, or drive an unregistered car. This is where the phrase "No habla ingles..." got used a lot. Panicked gringos would often "tip" them too. After a while, they began to recognize me, and I'd get the "stink-eye." A Humvee would have been ideal, as opposed to my old "Cap'n Ron's Montero" (but that's another story), and my priors only contributed to the general problem.

The road engineers have done a first-class job of laying concrete on the main thoroughfares. Now, it's the closest thing the country has to a racetrack. Double the speed, double the fun. In all my years on the island, I'd never seen so many skid marks, downed trees, roadkill, and cars down a gully. Motorbikes did their best to qualify for worldwide race teams, and there is no such thing as a curve! Then some smart guy decided to paint a yellow line down the center of the road, adding to the fun. Simply line the center of your car's hood up with the bright yellow line, and you're off to the races again! I parked off the side once just to watch the mayhem, but dang near got T-boned a few times during this new "learning curve."

Which brings me to Miss Victoria, our General Manager. She's island-born and bred. She kicked the slats out of her crib as a youngster, hit the ground running, and worked her way up to become the only native GM of a major resort on West Bay Beach.

She's a smart cookie. She doesn't drive. She doesn't need to. She relies on a network of employees, taxis, friends and others to get the supplies she needs to run the resort which shows an innate intelligence because it's an amazing feat to balance. She knows where to get the best buys including the freshest goods. She's a bargaining lass, bring tears to a glass eyeball.

Flowers Bay girls are nice girls, but they don't take guff from anyone. And you need that running a resort as every person on the team can affect the morale and personality of the guests' experience. She gets things done. She can be a rose with a fisted glove. And her people instincts are 99% right. What she's accomplished with her team in the past two years has been extraordinary.

So, when you visit our Caribbean Treasure, remember she's the straw that stirs the drink. That's why when I arrive, always trying to be helpful, I embrace the welcome arms of all the employees whom I love so much, then report to Miss Victoria.  

You’ll fall in love with Roatan after a visit to Caribe Tesoro on West Bay Beach in Roatan. Contact us at reservations@CaribeTesoro.com or call us at +504 9454-6885 or +1-727-877-2292 from the US.